Trauma

Some tips to try

Three short pieces from the library, and the part of each you can act on tonight.

• When to Seek Specialist Help for Trauma. Early help shortens recovery. The right question is not is she sick enough.
  • The question is not “is she sick enough.” It is “would early input help.”
  • Sustained changes over six to eight weeks warrant the GP.
  • The GP is the gateway to community paediatrics, CAMHS, and play therapy.
  theparentbook.com/parents/library/quick-tips/when-to-seek-specialist-help-for-trauma
• Giving Her Words for the Hard Thing. She does not have the word yet. You offer the small phrase.
  • Offer the small phrase in the car: “Our bodies remember before our heads do.”
  • Repeat in different forms across weeks.
  • Sit nearby while she plays; do not interpret the play back to her.
  theparentbook.com/parents/library/quick-tips/the-language-she-does-not-yet-have
• She Follows You From Room to Room. She does not need a world without risk. She needs you in the room.
  • Slow the household down rather than speeding it up.
  • Cancel the optional commitment that was going to stretch the week.
  • Felt safety is built in small repeated details, not in conversations.
  theparentbook.com/parents/library/quick-tips/felt-safety-in-the-everyday-room

If you want to read further

• Trauma in Childhood. A chapter for parents whose child has been through something, or whose family has. theparentbook.com/reader/the-shape-of-trauma-in-childhood

Worth your time

• A book for you: The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk. The seminal book on how trauma lives in the body. uk.bookshop.org/p/books/the-body-keeps-the-score-brain-mind-and-body-in-the-healing-of-trauma-bessel-van-der-kolk/e4ce86154fb6a29b
• Something to watch: Bruce Perry on Trauma and Children, Dr Bruce Perry, YouTube. Dr Bruce Perry’s talks through the ChildTrauma Academy, the clinical voice behind much of the developmental-trauma framework Treisman draws on; calibrated for clinicians but accessible to parents who want the deeper underpinning. www.youtube.com/channel/UCf4ZUgIXyxRcUNLuhimA5mA

Where else to go

For almost everything, the NHS is the right first move, and it costs nothing.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the fastest route to a change that helps. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.

• Anna Freud. A research-led mental health centre. I send parents here when they want to read from a clinically authoritative source. Chapters touching attachment, trauma, neurodevelopment, or any concern where the parent benefits from reading from a centre with research credibility. The right pointer when YoungMinds feels too light. www.annafreud.org/parents-and-carers
• NSPCC. The UK’s leading child-protection charity. The right signpost any time the chapter touches on a child being harmed. Any chapter where safeguarding may be live, where a parent suspects abuse, or where the chapter touches on online safety. The adult helpline is the right line for parents; Childline is the line for children themselves. NSPCC Helpline (for adults) 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. www.nspcc.org.uk
• MindEd for Families. NHS-backed e-learning hub written by specialists and parents together. The right pointer for parents who want to go deeper than a charity explainer. When the chapter calls for a substantial primer rather than a short article. Particularly useful for parents who are research-minded and want structured material they can work through. www.minded.org.uk

The full list for trauma, with what each organisation does and when it is the right call, is at theparentbook.com/help/trauma/services