The Parent Book·From the library
Trauma in Childhood
For parents whose child has been through something hard, or whose family has.
A sixteen-minute read · Published 25 May 2026
Six weeks after an accident in which no one in the family was seriously hurt, a four-year-old has started waking at three in the morning and walking, fully awake, into his parents’ room without speaking. He doesn’t cry; he climbs in and lies down between them, and by morning he doesn’t remember doing it. The school has rung twice to say he has been crying in assembly and doesn’t know why. The paediatrician at the follow-up has said his physical recovery is on track.
One of his parents has begun to understand that the accident hasn’t left the family. It’s still there, in their son’s body, in his school day and in the small hours of the night, and this parent’s own sleep has gone strange. Neither adult in the house has said the word out loud yet.
In our work, families often come to us in some version of this situation. It might be after an accident, an illness in the family, witnessed violence or a death, or after years of living with an adult whose unpredictable moods have dominated the household. This chapter is about what trauma is in a child’s development, what you can do as a parent, and what you can’t do alone.
Put it into practice
What this chapter looks like in practice: one-minute ideas for tonight, things to do together and sheets to print and keep.
Quick tipsOne minute each
- When Your Child Follows You From Room to RoomAfter something hard, a young child needs adults who are predictable, calm and in the room with them.
- Giving Your Child Words for the Hard ThingA young child rarely has words for something hard; give them a simple phrase for what their body feels.
- Why Trauma Shows Up in the Body FirstYoung children usually show trauma in their bodies and behaviour before they can put it into words.
Ten quick tips on this in the library
To do togetherActivities
- Hands busy, side by sideColour, build or make things side by side, each of you on your own thing. Nothing is asked of your child, and nothing they make is marked.About 20 minutes · with a sheet to print
- Where a feeling sitsOn a plain outline of a body, your child marks where they first notice anger, worry and sadness.About 20 minutes · with a sheet to print
- A way back to the roomA short noticing game, and for younger children a slow breath traced with a finger. Practise them together on calm days, so your child already knows them on a hard one.About 5 minutes · with a sheet to print
Five activities on this in the library
To printSheets to keep
The quick tips and activities are for subscribers, and so are the sheets to print. What a subscription includes.
Who else can help
Anna Freud
The Anna Freud Centre’s family wellbeing resources: careful, research-led reading on children’s emotional development, separation, self-care for parents, and supporting a child through treatment.
NSPCC
The NSPCC helpline is for adults worried about a child.
0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received.
If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/nspcc-helpline
Place2Be
Parenting Smart, written by the child mental health specialists who work in primary schools: short, practical articles and films on friendships, behaviour, worries and routines.
