When feelings get big: our plan

The sheet

Made on a calm day with a child between five and eleven: what they notice in their body, three things that help, what they would like the grown-up to do and not do, and where their calm place is.

To make together · A4, two sides · Two pages · PDF, 54 KB

How it helps

In the middle of a big feeling, a child can’t think clearly, and it’s hard for the adult too. A plan made together on a calm day means you both already know what helps your child, and they have had a say in what you do, which often helps them settle sooner.

How to use it

1. Make it with your child on a day when nothing much is wrong, and let them do the choosing. With a younger child, write down exactly what they say.
2. Fill in what they notice in their body, three things that help, what they’d like you to do and not do, and their calm place at home.
3. Put it up where they can see it. When a feeling gets big, start with your own body, say very little, and go to the calm place with them. Never send them there.
4. Afterwards, when they’re calm, go back to it briefly, and change anything that has stopped helping. The back of the sheet has the rest.

How to get this sheet

This sheet comes with a subscription. It is also yours with its chapter, if that is the chapter you read free, or if a teacher or therapist sends it to you. School staff and therapists signed in to their shelf can print it too.

It goes with Big Feelings and Co-Regulation.

Free to print

These are free to anyone, with nothing to sign up for.

• A plan for a bad dayTo fill in together · A4
• Before you ring the schoolFor a call or a meeting · A4
• What to say: school and friendsCards to cut out · A4, eight cards to cut
• Before the SENCo meetingFor a meeting · A4
• Three reports, side by sideFor a meeting · A4 landscape
• The return-to-school meetingFor a meeting · A4
• The move to secondary school, for a parents’ eveningFor a parents’ evening · A4, five pages
• The last half-hour before bedFor the fridge · A4
• The worry ladderTo fill in together · A4
• Before you see the GP about your childFor an appointment · A4, two sides
• A record of what happenedFor a call or a meeting · A4, two pages
• The people I can tellTo make together · A4, two pages

Every sheet, marked free or with a subscription, is at theparentbook.com/printables.