The Parent Book.
Therapist-written support for parents
Urgent help

ADHD, autism and learning differently

ADHD

Time you can see.

Some children are diagnosed early and others much later, and the child diagnosed late is often a girl who was missed for years. These pages are for the parent before the assessment and after it, and for the parent whose child is learning to work with the brain they have, which may not be the one the school expected.

What to do first and who else can help are free to read and to print.

What the library holds on ADHD

For a child aged

From the therapists

What to do first

ADHD is a difference in how attention and impulse are regulated. It isn’t a sign of too little effort or too little parenting, and children with it are usually trying harder than the children around them.

  1. Change the environment before you try to change the child: give one instruction at a time, write it down where you can, and have a fixed place for things.
  2. Ask the school for a SENCo meeting, and ask what adjustments are already in place.
  3. See the GP about the assessment route, and take the school’s account with you. Waits are long, so start now, and don’t wait for the assessment before starting the adjustments.

If you are worried about a child’s safety

Safeguarding: what to do and who to tellUrgent help

Chapters

1 on ADHD

The long reads, each on one situation, written by a therapist.

Quick tips

8 on ADHD

Short pieces for the moment in front of you, each with things to try.

Neurodiversity

Homework in Short Blocks

For a child with ADHD, homework goes better in short timed blocks, one instruction at a time, with you nearby.

Try this

  • Split homework into fifteen- to twenty-minute blocks, with a break between each.

Neurodiversity

Executive-Function Meltdown vs Emotional Meltdown

An emotional meltdown and an executive-function meltdown look the same, but they need different responses.

Try this

  • Work out which kind of meltdown it is, because each needs a different response.

More quick tips on ADHD

The rest of each tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

Things to do together

1 on ADHD

Small, repeatable things to do with your child, with what to watch for and when to get help.

To do together · About 20 min

Getting out of the door

A short list by the door, made with your child, of the things that go with them each morning. Your child ticks each one off as it goes in the bag, and you point at the list instead of reminding them.

What it is for. Some children can be told what to take every morning and still leave without it. For a child with ADHD, keeping a list in their head while everything else is going on is especially hard. A list by the door puts the reminder where they need it, so that you can point at it instead of saying it all again.

  1. The first step On a calm evening, ask your child what gets left behind: “What are the things that always go missing in the mornings?” Make the list from their answers, in their words: three or four things, not eight.

Safety. An inhaler, an adrenaline pen or any medicine your child needs is checked by an adult every morning, whoever packs the bag. It is never left to the list.

When to get help. If mornings are still a battle after several weeks with the list, if your child is losing and forgetting things at school as well as at home and it is affecting their work or friendships, or if you have been wondering whether your child has ADHD, talk to one of their teachers or the SENCo, and to your GP. If your child dreads going, or mornings bring stomach aches or tears about school, talk to their school, and take them to the GP if the stomach aches keep coming back. If your child tells you that someone is hurting them, that they are hurting themselves, or that they do not want to be alive, stay calm, thank them for telling you, do not promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page.

The other five steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

14 on ADHD

Made to be printed, kept, and handed on.

To print and keep

The guide to ADHD

What to do first, a few things to try and who else can help, together in one guide. Free to print and keep, or to hand to the other parent, a grandparent or the school.

See the sheet

Who else can help with ADHD, on a sheet of its own.

Every sheet to print

Books and reading

29 on ADHD

Chosen by the therapists who write the library: books for you and to read with your child, and pages from organisations we trust.

For you 14

  • Cover of Taking Charge of ADHD by Russell A. Barkley
     Taking Charge of ADHD Russell A. Barkley The standard parent guide from one of the field’s leading researchers, covering diagnosis, medication, school and an eight-step behaviour programme. Dense in places, but the reference parents return to. Affiliate link: we earn a small commission

Also on this shelf

  • Cover of Step by Step Help for Children with ADHD by Cathy Laver-Bradbury, Margaret Thompson, Anne Weeks, David Daley and Edmund J. S. Sonuga-Barke
     Step by Step Help for Children with ADHD Cathy Laver-Bradbury, Margaret Thompson, Anne Weeks, David Daley and Edmund J. S. Sonuga-Barke
  • Cover of What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Sharon Saline
     What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew Sharon Saline
  • Cover of 12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD by Russell A. Barkley
     12 Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD Russell A. Barkley
  • Cover of Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell A. Barkley
     Taking Charge of Adult ADHD Russell A. Barkley

And nine more. Every book on the shelf, with a therapist’s note on what it is good for, is in the library.

To read with your child 11

  • Cover of All Dogs Have ADHD by Kathy Hoopmann
     All Dogs Have ADHD Kathy Hoopmann · Ages 6 to 12 Photographs of dogs bounding, chewing and gazing out of windows illustrate the traits of ADHD with affection and humour. Good for younger children and for a first conversation after diagnosis. Affiliate link: we earn a small commission

Also on this shelf

  • Cover of My Busy Brain: A First Look at ADHD by Pat Thomas
     My Busy Brain: A First Look at ADHD Pat Thomas · Ages 4 to 7
  • Cover of The Teenage Girl’s Guide to Living Well with ADHD: Improve Your Self-Esteem, Self-Care and Self Knowledge by Sonia Ali
     The Teenage Girl’s Guide to Living Well with ADHD: Improve Your Self-Esteem, Self-Care and Self Knowledge Sonia Ali · Ages 12 to 18
  • Cover of Can I tell you about ADHD? A Guide for Friends, Family and Professionals by Susan Yarney
     Can I tell you about ADHD? A Guide for Friends, Family and Professionals Susan Yarney · Ages 7 to 15
  • Cover of Loud! by Rose Robbins
     Loud! Rose Robbins · Ages 4 to 7

And six more. Every book on the shelf, with a therapist’s note on what it is good for, is in the library.

To read online 4

  • NHS

    ADHD in children and young people

    The NHS guide to ADHD in children and teenagers: symptoms, asking for an assessment, what happens at one, and the options for treatment and support.

  • YoungMinds

    ADHD support for your child

    Common signs of ADHD, getting an assessment and diagnosis, helping at home, working with school, and what changes in the teenage years.

  • Anna Freud

    Supporting children and young people with ADHD

    Signs of ADHD, what families commonly contend with, how to support a child, and what to say to the school, to siblings and to extended family.

  • Place2Be

    My child might be neurodivergent

    For parents who suspect autism, ADHD or another difference: what neurodivergence means, what to observe, and how to start conversations with school and GP.

Podcasts and films

13 on ADHD

Podcast episodes, talks and films, each chosen for a reason.

Podcasts 8

  • ADHDUK podcast

    Episode 23: Q&A part 3: Medications

    Paediatrician Max Davie and his co-host answer questions from ADHD UK’s community about ADHD medication, in a UK prescribing context. A calm starting point before a clinic appointment.

    Apple Podcasts

Also on this shelf

  • Raising Good Humans

    Does my Child have ADHD? When & Why to Intervene

  • Dr Max Davie (ADHD UK)

    ADHDUK podcast

  • ADHD Experts Podcast

    553- The Power of Behavioral Parent Training for ADHD

  • ‘Mind the Kids’: an ACAMH podcast

    ADHD & Autism: Over diagnosed or under-recognised? Prof Tamsin Ford in a Mind the Kids podcast

And three more. Every episode on the shelf, with a therapist’s note on what it is good for, is in the library.

Films 5

Also on this shelf

  • YouTube · 3 min

    what is ADHD?

    Amazing Things Project, YouTube

  • YouTube · 5 min

    Why ADHD Gets Missed in Girls and High-Achieving Kids — and What Parents Can Do

    Child Mind Institute, YouTube

  • YouTube · 6 min

    InBrief: Executive Function: Skills for Life and Learning

    Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, YouTube

  • YouTube

    Child Mind Institute

    Child Mind Institute, YouTube

Every film on the shelf, with a therapist’s note on what it is good for, is in the library.

Who else can help

Assessment usually begins at school rather than at the surgery. The GP is the referral route, but a school that has already tried and recorded support makes everything after it faster.

Where to start

  • The SENCo at your child’s school

    The member of staff responsible for special educational needs. They hold the assessment routes, the in-school support, and the paperwork an EHCP needs.

    Ask for a meeting in writing, and ask what is already being tried under the graduated approach. This conversation usually has to happen before anything statutory can.

  • Your local SENDIASS

    The free, impartial SEND information, advice and support service every local authority in England must provide: SEN support, EHC needs assessments, exclusions, and what to do when you and the school disagree.

    As soon as special educational needs are in the picture. Search your borough’s name with SENDIASS, or use the national finder.

    councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/about-us-0/networks/information-advice-and-support-services-network/find-your-local-ias-service

  • Your GP

    The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent.

    Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly.

    www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp

  • Your local authority

    The council’s children’s services and SEND team. They hold statutory assessment, the Local Offer, and early help for families who need more than a school can give.

    When school-level support has been tried and is not enough, or when you want to know what your area actually provides.

    www.gov.uk/find-local-council

For ADHD

  • ADHD UK

    A national ADHD charity with free online support groups, including one for parents, plain guides to getting a child assessed and to the SEND system, and template letters for exam access arrangements.

    When you suspect ADHD, while you wait for assessment, and when school needs a nudge. Use the free groups; the paid course is not what we are pointing you to.

    Nor is the coaching marketplace on their site.

    adhduk.co.uk

  • Contact (for families with disabled children)

    The charity for families with a disabled child, whether or not there is a diagnosis yet. A free helpline, webchat, benefits advice and local groups.

    In the early days after a diagnosis, or while you are still waiting for one, when you need someone warm and practical.

    Contact Helpline 0808 808 3555 · Mon-Fri 9.30am-5pm (Tue opens 10.15am) · Webchat and an online enquiry form via the website; bookable Listening Ear calls

    contact.org.uk/help-for-families/information-advice-services/our-helpline

  • IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice)

    Free, independent legal advice on special educational needs in England: SEN support, EHC needs assessments and plans, exclusions and tribunal appeals. A call-in helpline and bookable advice appointments.

    When the school or the local authority has stopped moving and you need to know what the law says they must do.

    The SEND systems in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland work differently.

    IPSEA Advice Line and Call-in Helpline 0300 222 5899 · Triage Tue 9.30am-12.30pm; Call-in Helpline Wed 9.30am-2.30pm

    www.ipsea.org.uk/get-support

Every organisation for ADHD, and when each is the right call Finding a therapist