Getting out of the door

The activity

A short list by the door, made with her, of the things that go with her each morning. She ticks them off as they go in the bag, and you point at the list instead of reminding her.

What it is for. Some children can be told what to take every morning and still leave without it. For a child with ADHD, keeping a list in her head while everything else is going on is especially hard. A list by the door puts the reminder where she needs it, so that you can point at it instead of saying it all again.

• The first step. On a calm evening, ask her what gets left behind: “What are the things that always go missing in the mornings?” Make the list from her answers, in her words: three or four things, not eight.

Safety. An inhaler, an adrenaline pen or any medicine she needs is checked by an adult every morning, whoever packs the bag. It is never left to the list.

When to get help. If mornings are still a battle after several weeks with the list, if she is losing and forgetting things at school as well as at home and it is affecting her work or friendships, or if you have been wondering whether she has ADHD, talk to one of her teachers or the SENCo, and to your GP. If she dreads going, or mornings bring stomach aches or tears about school, talk to her school, and take her to the GP if the stomach aches keep coming back. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, that she is hurting herself, or that she does not want to be alive, stay calm, thank her for telling you, do not promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page.

The other five steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: The door list.

It goes with

• Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School. For parents whose child has been working harder and longer than other children to do things that come more easily to them.
• The Move to Secondary School. For parents whose child is about to go from being one of the oldest in her school to one of the youngest.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• ADHD. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Neurodiversity. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.