The Parent Book·From the library
Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School
For parents whose child has been working harder and longer than other children to do things that come more easily to them.
A fourteen-minute read · Published 26 May 2026
It’s Sunday evening, and you have spent an hour at the table with your child’s school report from the end of last term. For the third year running, it says your child does well when fully supported. The maths homework, which the other children seem to finish in twenty minutes, took two and a half hours and ended in tears, as it has on most Sundays this year.
By now you’ve read every parenting article on focus, motivation, screens and sleep, tried what each one suggested, and watched the same pattern come back the following week. You’ve begun to suspect that something else is going on. There’s a word for it that you’ve been keeping at arm’s length for a while.
This Sunday evening comes up often in our counselling work with parents. The friction has been there for some time, and the reports have been hinting at it. Now you’re beginning to wonder whether the conversation you’ve been avoiding is the one you ought to be having.
Put it into practice
What this chapter looks like in practice: one-minute ideas for tonight, things to do together and sheets to print and keep.
Quick tipsOne minute each
- The Report That Keeps Repeating ItselfWhen the same comment turns up in three years of school reports, take it seriously.
- Asking for the SENCo MeetingAsk for the meeting in a short email, and bring three to five specific examples in writing.
- The Night Before the AssessmentKeep the evening before an assessment as much like any other evening as you can.
27 quick tips on this in the library
To do togetherActivities
- A place to settle, with you nearbyA comfortable corner, chosen with your child, for when a feeling gets too big. While they are small you go there together, and nobody is ever sent there.About 20 minutes
- The route, twice, and the mapBefore term, do the route once together and once with your child leading, and draw the few rooms that matter.Two trips, and an afternoon · with a sheet to print
- When a friend comes roundFor a visit your child has asked for: one friend, one thing to do together, you within earshot, and a warm, clear ending.An afternoon · with a sheet to print
Eleven activities on this in the library
To printSheets to keep
The quick tips and activities are for subscribers; the sheets marked free are free to anyone, and the rest come with a subscription. What a subscription includes.
Who else can help
National Autistic Society
The UK’s autism charity.
By arrangement, requested through the website
SENDIASS (your local SEND information and advice service)
Every local authority in England funds a free, impartial advice service for parents of children with special educational needs: SEN support, EHC assessments and plans, exclusions, and disagreements with the school.
IPSEA (Independent Provider of Special Education Advice)
Free, independent legal advice on special educational needs in England: SEN support, EHC needs assessments and plans, exclusions and tribunal appeals.
0300 222 5899 · Triage Tue 9.30am-12.30pm; Call-in Helpline Wed 9.30am-2.30pm
