When a friend comes round

The sheet

A plan made together before a visit your child has asked for: who is coming and when it ends, the one thing they’ll do, and how you’ll say goodbye.

To fill in together · A4 · One page · PDF, 44 KB

How it helps

For a child who finds friendships hard, a long visit with no plan can go wrong just as it seemed to be going well. A short visit they have planned, with one thing to do side by side and a goodbye they know is coming, gives it the best chance of going well, and of them wanting another.

How to use it

1. Let the idea be your child’s, and keep it to one friend and a shorter visit than feels right. Before the visit, sit down together and fill in who is coming, the day, and when they arrive and go home.
2. Agree the end time with the friend’s parent, and check allergies, anything the friend doesn’t eat and any medicine they need.
3. Help your child choose the one thing to do together, where they can go if they need a break, and the words for the warning before goodbye.
4. During the visit, stay within earshot, doing something of your own. Afterwards, say little, and don’t ask whether they’re friends now.
5. An adult handles the oven and sharp knives, and any screens are used in a shared room with the door open. If either child says something that suggests someone is hurting them, the sheet says what to do that day; if it is the friend, it goes to the routes at theparentbook.com/urgent-help, not to the friend’s parent.

How to get this sheet

This sheet comes with a subscription. It is also yours with its chapter, if that is the chapter you read free, or if a teacher or therapist sends it to you. School staff and therapists signed in to their shelf can print it too.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full, with its sheets. This one goes with When the Best Friend Moves On and Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School.

Free to print

These are free to anyone, with nothing to sign up for.

• A plan for a bad dayTo fill in together · A4
• Before you ring the schoolFor a call or a meeting · A4
• What to say: school and friendsCards to cut out · A4, eight cards to cut
• Before the SENCo meetingFor a meeting · A4
• Three reports, side by sideFor a meeting · A4 landscape
• The return-to-school meetingFor a meeting · A4
• The move to secondary school, for a parents’ eveningFor a parents’ evening · A4, five pages
• The last half-hour before bedFor the fridge · A4
• The worry ladderTo fill in together · A4
• Before you see the GP about your childFor an appointment · A4, two sides
• A record of what happenedFor a call or a meeting · A4, two pages
• The people I can tellTo make together · A4, two pages

Every sheet, marked free or with a subscription, is at theparentbook.com/printables.