Eating disorders

Some tips to try

Three short pieces from the library, and the part of each you can act on tonight.

• The GP Visit About Her Eating. Bring the two weeks of notes. Ask without making her the subject.
  • Where the practice allows, make the first appointment without the child in the room.
  • Bring the two-week notes; bring the growth chart from her Red Book.
  • Ask: does the picture warrant the next step, and what is the local referral route.
  theparentbook.com/parents/library/quick-tips/the-gp-visit-you-are-rehearsing
• The Long Arc of Recovery. Recovery is rarely a line. Expect a long, uneven climb.
  • Do not declare it over when the months are going well.
  • Do not declare it permanent when the weeks slip.
  • Keep the small structures consistent: the family meal, no comment on bodies.
  theparentbook.com/parents/library/quick-tips/the-long-arc-of-recovery
• When Mealtimes Are About Control. A child’s relationship with food is, almost always, a child’s relationship with control.
  • You decide what, when, where. She decides whether and how much.
  • Keep one family meal that happens regardless of who eats.
  • Do not comment on bodies, anyone’s, or moralise food.
  theparentbook.com/parents/library/quick-tips/the-plate-as-the-last-place

If you want to read further

• Eating and Control. A chapter for parents whose mealtimes have become the place where everything else is happening. theparentbook.com/reader/eating-and-control
• Body Image. A chapter for parents who want to raise a child at peace in their own body. theparentbook.com/reader/body-image-and-the-conversations-we-do-not-realise-we-are-having

Worth your time

• A book for you: Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Ellyn Satter. The seminal text on the division of responsibility framework. uk.bookshop.org/search?keywords=child+mine+satter
• Something to watch: Beat Eating Disorders YouTube channel, Beat (Beat Eating Disorders), YouTube. The UK’s national eating disorders charity. Their channel hosts short films from their carer skills workshops, family stories, and explainers on anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating and ARFID. The most clinically careful UK video source for a parent who has begun to wonder, or who is in the long arc of a child’s recovery. www.youtube.com/user/beatingED

Where else to go

This one is medical, and early treatment matters more than in almost anything else in this library. See the GP this week and ask for a physical check and an eating disorder referral.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• NHS 111, and Lifeline in Northern Ireland. The mental health crisis line for your area. Free, confidential and answered twenty-four hours a day, every day of the year. When you or your child is in mental health crisis and it will not wait for a GP appointment. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health optionNorthern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000

• BEAT (Beat Eating Disorders). The UK’s eating disorder charity. The early signpost in any chapter touching on eating disorders or restrictive behaviour. Any chapter where eating, body image, or food anxiety has tipped into restrictive or compulsive territory. Signpost early in the chapter, not at the end; the youth helpline matters. BEAT Helplines England 0808 801 0677, Scotland 0808 801 0432, Wales 0808 801 0433, Northern Ireland 0808 801 0434 · Mon-Fri 3pm-8pm · Webchat, social media DM, email via website www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk
• Royal College of Psychiatrists. The main professional organisation of psychiatrists in the UK. The right institutional reference for parents seeking authoritative, clinically careful descriptions of children’s mental health conditions, written by psychiatrists in partnership with young people. Quick tips and chapters where a child has received a clinical mental health diagnosis and the family wants the calmest, most institutional UK reading available. The College’s parent-facing leaflets are certified by the Patient Information Forum’s PIF TICK accreditation scheme; their reading level and clinical framing sit slightly above YoungMinds, slightly below Anna Freud. www.rcpsych.ac.uk
• MindEd for Families. NHS-backed e-learning hub written by specialists and parents together. The right pointer for parents who want to go deeper than a charity explainer. When the chapter calls for a substantial primer rather than a short article. Particularly useful for parents who are research-minded and want structured material they can work through. www.minded.org.uk

The full list for eating disorders, with what each organisation does and when it is the right call, is at theparentbook.com/help/eating-disorders/services