The Parent Book·From the library
What to Do When School Is the Problem
For parents whose child has started dreading school.
A fourteen-minute read · Published 25 May 2026
It often starts on a Sunday evening. Your child has been mostly cheerful all weekend, but as the evening goes on they say less and less. Then they have a stomach ache, and by bedtime they’re crying. On Monday morning your child can’t get out of bed, and they aren’t putting it on. You have a meeting first thing, and you’re standing in their doorway in your coat, trying to work out whether this is the day to push through or the day to ring in sick.
A week later, it’s starting on Sunday afternoons. A month later, it has spread into Saturday evenings. By the second half-term, the child who used to skip into the playground walks in with their shoulders hunched on the better days, and on the worse days doesn’t walk in at all.
We see a lot of parents in this position. The school says, with all its authority, that the child has to come in. Your child says, very clearly, that they can’t bear it. You’re the one standing between them, and the one who knows your child best.
Put it into practice
What this chapter looks like in practice: one-minute ideas for tonight, things to do together and sheets to print and keep.
Quick tipsOne minute each
- Sunday Evening Has Started HurtingWhen Sunday evenings start to hurt, there is usually more than one reason, so slow down before deciding which conversation to have.
- When the Teacher Is the ProblemTake your child seriously without taking sides, and listen for specific incidents you can act on.
- When the School Does Not See Your ChildIf a school misreads your child’s culture, specific examples usually help it adjust.
Nineteen quick tips on this in the library
To do togetherActivities
- The walk with no agendaWalk with your child at the same time each week, side by side. Some weeks they will talk, and you still go on the weeks they do not.About 20 minutes · with a sheet to print
- The school day, drawn as a lineYour child draws their day from gate to gate and marks where it feels heavy. You take the one moment they mark, not a conclusion, to the school.About 20 minutes · with a sheet to print
- An hour off after schoolFor the child who holds it together at school and comes apart at home. The first hour back asks nothing of them: something to eat, somewhere to recover, and no questions yet.The first hour home · with a sheet to print
Six activities on this in the library
To printSheets to keep
The quick tips and activities are for subscribers; the sheets marked free are free to anyone, and the rest come with a subscription. What a subscription includes.
Who else can help
YoungMinds
The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about.
0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm
Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not.
Place2Be
Parenting Smart, written by the child mental health specialists who work in primary schools: short, practical articles and films on friendships, behaviour, worries and routines.
Coram Family Lives
A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers.
0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays
Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258.
coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
