The Parent Book·From the library
The Hour Before Bed
For parents whose child’s bedtime has turned into an hour of worries, questions and meltdowns.
A twelve-minute read · Published 25 May 2026
By bedtime you’ve got nothing left. You made pasta and your child refused it. The bath is done, and their teeth are mostly brushed. Ten minutes ago they were running round the house with a sock on their head. Now they’re sitting on the edge of the bed with very big eyes, saying they don’t feel well, there’s a knot in their tummy, could you stay just a bit longer, what was that noise outside, why does the radiator make that sound, is the door closed properly, what if they have a bad dream.
All you want is to go downstairs and eat something standing up at the counter. Instead you’re sitting on the edge of their bed, wondering how this has happened for the third time this week.
Almost every parent we work with who has a child between the ages of three and ten has some version of this hour. It looks different in different houses. In some it’s the long unravelling above. In others the child is fine, fine, fine, and then suddenly incandescent with fury about a sock. In others an older child turns at the bedroom door and asks a question that takes forty minutes to answer. What they have in common is that the hour before bed has stopped being about sleep.
Put it into practice
What this chapter looks like in practice: one-minute ideas for tonight, things to do together and sheets to print and keep.
Quick tipsOne minute each
- The Body Too Awake for BedtimeIf your child is too wound up to sleep, slow yourself down at bedtime.
- The Sunday Evening DreadSunday-evening dread is a sign that you’ve been doing more than you can recover from.
- When You Are the One Not SleepingLying awake night after night is a sign of overload, and a reason to see your GP.
Twelve quick tips on this in the library
To do togetherActivities
- Reading in the same roomFor the last twenty minutes before bed, everyone reads in one room, you included. Keep reading aloud to your child for longer than you think they need it.About 20 minutes
- The interesting bit and the hard bitAsk your child one question at the end of the day, at supper or on the way home: what was interesting, and what was hard. Then answer it yourself.About 5 minutes
- Worry time, not at bedtimeTen minutes at the same time each afternoon for your child’s worries. If one comes up at another time, you listen, write it down and save it for then.About 10 minutes · with a sheet to print
Four activities on this in the library
To printSheets to keep
The quick tips and activities are for subscribers; the sheets marked free are free to anyone, and the rest come with a subscription. What a subscription includes.
Who else can help
Place2Be
Parenting Smart, written by the child mental health specialists who work in primary schools: short, practical articles and films on friendships, behaviour, worries and routines.
NHS Every Mind Matters
The NHS self-help hub, with a page on children’s mental health and free programmes on sleep and anxiety for you.
nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/supporting-others/childrens-mental-health
Coram Family Lives
A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers.
0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays
Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258.
coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
