The Parent Book·From the library
When the Best Friend Moves On
For parents whose child’s best friend has drifted away, with no falling-out to explain it.
A twelve-minute read · Published 25 May 2026
Your child comes home from school and says less than usual at supper. When you ask if anything’s wrong, they say nothing is. By the second week they have stopped mentioning their best friend, a name you have heard at every meal for two and a half years. By the fourth week you realise your child hasn’t asked for a playdate, their texts have gone unanswered, and the friendship is over.
This comes up often in our work with parents. It’s one of the most painful things that happen in a primary or early-secondary school year, and one of the least dramatic. There’s no incident to point to and no falling-out your child can clearly describe, and often there isn’t another child to be cross with either. The friendship has faded slowly over a term, while you were thinking about other things.
What follows is roughly what we tell those parents.
Put it into practice
What this chapter looks like in practice: one-minute ideas for tonight, things to do together and sheets to print and keep.
Quick tipsOne minute each
- When the Best Friend DriftsWhen a best friendship slowly fades, it’s usually part of growing up, and it helps to say you’ve noticed.
- No One to Sit With at LunchA lonely child generally seems fine, which is why loneliness is so easy to miss.
- The Party Your Child Needs to LeaveSome children run out of social energy long before the party ends, and going home is how they recover.
Nine quick tips on this in the library
To do togetherActivities
- The walk with no agendaWalk with your child at the same time each week, side by side. Some weeks they will talk, and you still go on the weeks they do not.About 20 minutes · with a sheet to print
- Hands busy, side by sideColour, build or make things side by side, each of you on your own thing. Nothing is asked of your child, and nothing they make is marked.About 20 minutes · with a sheet to print
- A film, and the conversation you do not forceChoose a film with some care, watch it side by side, and do not ask questions afterwards. If your child wants to talk, they will.The length of a film · with a sheet to print
Five activities on this in the library
To printSheets to keep
The quick tips and activities are for subscribers, and so are the sheets to print. What a subscription includes.
Who else can help
Place2Be
Parenting Smart, written by the child mental health specialists who work in primary schools: short, practical articles and films on friendships, behaviour, worries and routines.
Coram Family Lives
A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers.
0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays
Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258.
coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
YoungMinds
The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about.
0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm
Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not.
