With a subscription
A day with no 11+ in it
About 60 minutes, for ages 9 to 16.
The activity
One day a week, and a few evenings, with no papers, no practice and no talk of the test. Keep it most weeks, and let it go when a week slips.
What it is for. A child preparing for an entrance test needs regular evidence that there is more to them than the test. A day off from it each week helps keep the test in proportion, for them and for you.
- The first step. Choose the day, and three evenings, when the preparation stops. Tell your child once, calmly: “On Saturdays there’s no 11+: no work, and no talking about it.”
Safety. If your child helps at the hob, an adult stays beside them and handles the hot pan.
When to get help. If your child is sick or sleeping badly before tests, the worry is getting worse, or it is affecting their eating or their wish to go to school, talk to their school and your GP. The routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page, are for when it cannot wait. If your child has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank them if they have told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: help them ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If your child tells you that someone is hurting them, stay calm, thank them for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using those routes; if the person hurting your child lives in your home or your child’s other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. If your child is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if they seem well.
The other four steps, and your part in it, are in the library.
The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: A day with no 11+ in it.
It goes with
- The 11+ Year. For parents whose child is preparing for school entrance exams.
- Perfectionism. For parents whose child can’t bear to get anything wrong.
The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.
Free on this subject
- School stress. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
- Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.