When Your Child Needs You to Say It Again

If your child needs the same answer again and again before they can settle, it may be OCD, so talk to your GP.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 7 to 18.

Where to start

Keep your answer short, and don’t argue with the fear.
Tell your child you can see they’re frightened, and that you know they can cope.
See your GP, and cut back on reassurance only gradually, with professional help.
Talk to your GP, who can refer them to children and young people’s mental health services (CAMHS).
Some children with OCD are frightened by thoughts of hurting someone they love. The NHS says these are just thoughts, and having them doesn’t mean a person will act on them. If your child tells you about them, stay calm and ask the GP for an appointment soon.
If your child has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.
If your child is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if they seem well. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

OCD-UK, guide for parents of children with OCD (2023); NHS, Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD): overview, symptoms and treatment; NICE, Obsessive-compulsive disorder and body dysmorphic disorder: recognition and management (CG31), recommendations 1.5.1.9, 1.5.2.9, 1.5.5.2 and 1.5.5.3; Wu, McGuire, Martino, Phares, Selles and Storch, a meta-analysis of family accommodation and OCD symptom severity (Clinical Psychology Review, 2016); Pellegrini and colleagues, a pooled frequency meta-analysis of family accommodation in OCD (Asian Journal of Psychiatry, 2025); Heyman and colleagues, Prevalence of obsessive-compulsive disorder in the British nationwide survey of child mental health (British Journal of Psychiatry, 2001); NHS, Waiting for mental health support

It goes with

When Reassurance Stops Working. For parents whose child is anxious and can’t be talked out of it, however often the adults around them try.
Anxiety, by Age. For parents of a child whose worry has started to make decisions for them, with what helps at each age and when to ask for help.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Anxiety. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
General mental health. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.