When Your Child Falls Apart After School

Your child held it together all day; give them food and no questions for a while, and tell the school what you see.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 5 to 13.

Where to start

Have food ready, and put it out without asking if they’re hungry.
Keep the questions about your child’s day until later in the evening.
Tell the school what you see at home, even if it doesn’t show in class.
If it happens most days for several weeks, they have started to dread school, have stomach aches or headaches on school mornings, or seem low or anxious most of the time, talk to your GP as well.
If your child takes medicine for ADHD and has become irritable, aggressive, low or anxious, speak to their doctor straight away.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

National Autistic Society, Masking, and Different behaviour between school and home; YoungMinds, Challenging behaviour (reviewed July 2026) and School anxiety and refusal (reviewed December 2025); Family Lives, Establishing a school routine; NHS, Side effects of methylphenidate for children

It goes with

What to Do When School Is the Problem. For parents whose child has started dreading school.
Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School. For parents whose child has been working harder and longer than other children to do things that come more easily to them.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Emotional regulation. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Neurodiversity. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.