When Your Child Cannot Face Going Into School

Where to start

• Ask the school for a plan now, including a named adult for your child.
• Ask the SENCo whether a need nobody has spotted is making school harder.
• If it has lasted several weeks or your child’s mood is flat, talk to your GP as well.
• If your child tells you that someone is hurting them, stay calm, thank them for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: tell the school’s designated safeguarding lead, or, if it’s happening outside school, children’s social care or the police. A national child protection helpline will talk it through with you. NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. Email help@nspcc.org.uk. Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. Help is free.
• If your child has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.
• If your child is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if they seem well. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

NHS, Is my child too ill for school? (reviewed 2024); Department for Education, Working together to improve school attendance (statutory guidance, July 2026 edition), paragraphs 12 and 54 to 62; Department for Education, Summary of responsibilities where a mental health issue is affecting attendance (2023); West Sussex Educational Psychology Service, Emotionally based school avoidance: good practice guidance for schools and support agencies; YoungMinds, School anxiety and refusal: a guide for parents (2025); NHS, Children and young people’s mental health services

It goes with

• What to Do When School Is the Problem. For parents whose child has started dreading school.
• Anxiety, by Age. For parents of a child whose worry has started to make decisions for them, with what helps at each age and when to ask for help.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Anxiety. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• School stress. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.