When She Cries at Drop-Off

Say goodbye the same short way every morning, and hand her to an adult she knows.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for children under 7.

Where to start

Say goodbye the same short way every morning, and tell her when you’ll be back.
If it’s still hard after the first few weeks of term, talk to her teacher.
Talk to your GP, or your health visitor if she hasn’t started school yet, if she stays upset for a long time after you’ve left, if being apart from you has started to get in the way of everyday life, or if she has gone back to things she had grown out of, such as wetting the bed.
If she seems worried about you or someone else at home, tell her teacher. If she seems afraid that someone at home will be hurt, is frightened of a particular adult, or says something that suggests someone is hurting her, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and don’t question her further: treat it as a safeguarding matter and act that day. Speak to the school’s designated safeguarding lead, or, if it’s happening at home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. A national child protection helpline will talk it through with you. NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. Email help@nspcc.org.uk. Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. Help is free.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

What to Do When School Is the Problem. For parents whose child has started dreading school.
Big Feelings and Co-Regulation. For parents whose child has just had a meltdown, on how to help her through it.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Anxiety. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.