The Teenager Who Refuses the New Family

A teenager who won’t engage with a new stepfamily is rarely being difficult on purpose.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 11 to 16.

Where to start

Lower the demand and give it more time.
Don’t require your teenager to call the step-parent anything in particular.
Trust that the engagement your teenager chooses for themselves is the kind that lasts.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

Coram Family Lives helpline; Resolution parenting-through-separation resources

It goes with

When Parents Separate. For parents in the middle of a separation who are watching closely to see how their child is coping.
When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Separation and divorce. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Family stress. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.