The Teenager Who Looks Everything Up

A teenager may look the illness up whatever you say, so give them the real information first and offer to look together.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 11 to 18.

Where to start

Tell your teenager the real information first, including what nobody knows yet.
Offer to look things up together, and check whether it applies to their parent.
Make sure your teenager has someone outside the family to talk to as well.
If your teenager has a question you can’t answer, offer to take it to the specialist nurse or the doctor.
It helps a teenager to have someone outside the family to talk to as well. Hope Support Services, a UK charity, offers online support to young people of five to twenty-five when someone they love has a serious illness, and young people can refer themselves. It is not a helpline: its support starts with a form on its website. Your teenager can also talk to someone in confidence. Childline, 0800 1111. For anyone under 19 in the UK. There is a one-to-one chat online at https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/1-2-1-counsellor-chat/. Help is free and available at any hour.
If your teenager’s low mood has lasted most days for two weeks or more, or you are worried about how they are, see the GP. If your child has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank them if they have told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: help them ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

Macmillan Cancer Support, Talking to children and teenagers about cancer (reviewed 2024); MND Association, For parents and guardians affected by MND (2026); Marie Curie, Supporting a child or teenager when someone has a terminal illness (2025); Hope Support Services, Get support from Hope, and its self-referral form; World Health Organization, Clinical descriptions and diagnostic requirements for ICD-11 mental, behavioural and neurodevelopmental disorders (2024); NICE, Depression in children and young people: identification and management (NG134, 2019)

It goes with

When a Parent Is Seriously Ill. For parents whose own serious illness, or the other parent’s, has changed life at home.
When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Serious illness in the family. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Difficult conversations. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

Subscribe to the library

£129 a year, by Direct Debit.

The Direct Debit is set up now and the first payment is taken on the next collection date. It renews each year on the anniversary of that payment. Change your mind in the first fourteen days and we refund you in full; after that, you can cancel at any time from your account page and read to the end of the year you have paid for.

Start your subscription

Already a subscriber? Sign in School staff: the teachers’ shelf

If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.