The Sibling Who Has Died

Your child has lost a brother or sister and become the only child in the house.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 5 to 13.

Where to start

Let your child grieve without making it their job.
Say in passing: “You’re not in charge of looking after me.”
Keep the photo, the chair and the stories there for as long as your child needs them.
The UK’s children’s bereavement charity has the warmest specialist resources we know for grieving children, including material on losing a brother or sister. Child Bereavement UK (incorporating Winston’s Wish), 0800 02 888 40. Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, except bank holidays. Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Source

Child Bereavement UK (incorporating Winston’s Wish), specialist resources for grieving children including sibling-loss material

It goes with

When a Child Is Grieving. For parents whose child has lost someone, or something, that was there last week.
Siblings and the Fights That Aren’t Fair. For parents whose children keep finding new ways to fall out with each other.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Bereavement. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Sibling conflict. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.