When She Is Low at Seventeen

Where to start

• If she’s been flat for more than a fortnight, or you’re worried, see the GP.
• Warn her the GP should ask about drink, drugs and self-harm, and should offer to see her alone.
• Tell the GP what you’ve seen; they can listen even if they can’t tell you anything.
• The GP can refer her to children and young people’s mental health services (CAMHS), usually until she is 18.
• In some parts of England she can refer herself to NHS Talking Therapies from 16, and her school or college may have a counsellor.
• She can ask the GP to keep what she says from you. Doctors should still share information without her agreement where that’s needed to protect her from serious harm, and the General Medical Council’s guidance gives self-harm as an example. The GP can always listen to what you’ve seen.
• The NHS says older children who are depressed may misuse drugs or alcohol, so tell the GP about any drinking or drug use. Warn her beforehand that the doctor should ask about drink, drugs, self-harm and suicidal thoughts, and should offer to see her alone first.
• If she has hurt herself, or talks about not wanting to be alive, act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.

It goes with

• When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.
• The Conversations Parents Avoid. For parents who need to tell their child something hard and don’t know how to start.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Low mood. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• General mental health. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.