The Friend You Have Stopped Calling

Losing touch with friends happens gradually, and the way back starts with a quick, low-stakes message.

A two-minute read, three things to try.

Where to start

Send a two-line text; don’t wait for the long-overdue catch-up.
If you are struggling yourself, there is an evening helpline for anyone who needs to talk. CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), 0800 58 58 58. Daily 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year. Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

The Hour Before Bed. For parents whose child’s bedtime has turned into an hour of worries, questions and meltdowns.
When You Are Not All Right. For parents whose own mental health is part of what’s going on at home.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Parent wellbeing. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Community support. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.