Left Out on Purpose, Again

Whether it’s a falling-out or bullying decides what you do next, so find out which before you act.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 5 to 11.

Where to start

Ask who, where and how often before you decide what it is.
For a falling-out, help your child find the words: “I don’t like it when you leave me out of the game.”
For bullying, keep a short diary and ask to see your child’s class teacher.
If it’s bullying, keep a short diary of what happened and when, and ask to see your child’s class teacher. Every school should have a written anti-bullying policy, so ask to see it, and ask what the school will do and when you’ll hear back. If the school hasn’t been able to sort it out, the specialist anti-bullying charity has an advice line for parents. Coram Kidscape, 0300 102 4481. WhatsApp 07496 682785. Email pal@coramkidscape.org.uk. Mon-Tue 9.30am-2.30pm; reduced over the summer holidays. Voicemail, email and WhatsApp accepted outside hours. If a child is at risk of harm now, do not wait for a reply: call the police on 101, or 999 if anyone is in immediate danger. Help is free.
If they stay low, eat or sleep differently, or stop enjoying things they used to love, talk to your GP as well as the school.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

Place2Be, My child is being bullied. What can I do? (Parenting Smart); Anti-Bullying Alliance, Our definition of bullying; Place2Be, My child is feeling sad or low (Parenting Smart)

It goes with

When Your Child Is Being Bullied. For parents whose child has just told them about being bullied.
When the Best Friend Moves On. For parents whose child’s best friend has drifted away, with no falling-out to explain it.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Bullying. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Friendships. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.