Her First Phone, and the Class Group Chat

Before she joins the class group chat, tell her she will never be in trouble for showing you something that upset her.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 9 to 13.

Where to start

Set the phone up together, including who can contact her and add her to groups.
If anyone sends her a nude or semi-nude picture, tell her not to pass it on. Never ask her to send it to you, and never view, copy, print, share, store or save it; a screenshot is a copy. Don’t delete anything until you have advice from the school’s safeguarding lead. If a picture of her has been shared, tell her it is not her fault; she can report it herself to have it taken down. Report Remove (from Childline and the IWF). Online at https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/report-remove/. If an adult sent it, or anyone is pressuring her to send pictures, report it to the police. CEOP (the police’s online child protection command). Report at https://www.ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

Your Child’s Online World. For parents who have seen something on their child’s phone that they can’t unsee.
Screen Time. For parents who have lost the argument about screen hours, and suspect it was never quite the right argument to have.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Social media. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Online safety. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.