First this, then that

The activity

A card with two pictures, the thing to do first and the thing that comes next, for a young child who finds it hard to stop one thing and start another.

What it is for. Moving from one thing to another is hard for many young children, and often harder for autistic children, who may prefer to know what is going to happen in advance. A card that shows the order in pictures means your child doesn’t have to keep it in their head or hear it said again and again, and they can see that the next thing is on its way.

• The first step. Choose one moment in the day that often goes wrong: leaving the park, getting into the bath, the tablet going off. Start with that one, and add others later.

Safety. An adult cuts the cards out. If you stick on photographs or pictures, use glue or tape, not pins or anything small enough to swallow.

When to get help. If moving from one thing to another ends in long, intense upset on most days, it is getting worse over several weeks, or your child hurts others when it happens, talk to your health visitor if your child is under five, or your GP, and to their nursery or school. If your child hurts themselves when it happens, for example by banging their head or biting themselves, act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If you have been wondering whether your child might be autistic, the GP is where an assessment starts; for a child not yet at school, the health visitor may make the referral. If something your child says suggests that someone is hurting them, stay calm, thank them for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page; if the person hurting your child lives in your home or your child’s other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. If your child has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank them if they have told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: help them ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If your child is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if they seem well.

The other five steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: First this, then that.

It goes with

• Big Feelings and Co-Regulation. For parents whose child has just had a meltdown, on how to help them through it.
• Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School. For parents whose child has been working harder and longer than other children to do things that come more easily to them.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Neurodiversity. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Behaviour. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.