First this, then that

The activity

A card with two pictures, the thing she does first and the thing that comes next, for a young child who finds it hard to stop one thing and start another.

What it is for. Moving from one thing to another is hard for many young children, and often harder for autistic children, who may prefer to know what is going to happen in advance. A card that shows the order in pictures means she doesn’t have to keep it in her head or hear it said again and again, and she can see that the next thing is on its way.

• The first step. Choose one moment in the day that often goes wrong: leaving the park, getting into the bath, the tablet going off. Start with that one, and add others later.

Safety. An adult cuts the cards out. If you stick on photographs or pictures, use glue or tape, not pins or anything small enough to swallow.

When to get help. If moving from one thing to another ends in long, intense upset on most days, it is getting worse over several weeks, or she hurts herself or others when it happens, talk to your health visitor if she is under five, or your GP, and to her nursery or school. If you have been wondering whether she might be autistic, the GP is where an assessment starts; for a child not yet at school, the health visitor may make the referral. If something she says suggests that someone is hurting her, or that she does not want to be alive, stay calm, thank her for telling you, do not promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page.

The other five steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: First this, then that.

It goes with

• Big Feelings and Co-Regulation. For parents whose child has just had a meltdown, on how to help her through it.
• Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School. For parents whose child has been working harder and longer than other children to do things that come more easily to them.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Neurodiversity. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Behaviour. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.