A story about what will happen

The activity

Before something new, such as the dentist or a new classroom, write a short story with her about what usually happens there, and read it together in the days before.

What it is for. Many autistic children find not knowing what will happen harder than the thing itself. A short, accurate story about what usually happens tells her what to expect, in words she can go back to as often as she likes.

• The first step. Choose one thing coming up that is new, or that she finds hard: a haircut, a school trip, a new classroom, a visit to a relative’s house.

Safety. If the photos show her school or other children, keep the book at home and don’t post it online. A story doesn’t take the place of an adult keeping an eye on her. If it is about roads, water or a busy place, stay close to her on the day.

When to get help. Stories like this help some children with some situations; they are not a treatment. If her distress around change is severe or getting worse, with frequent meltdowns or refusing to go to school, talk to your GP, your health visitor if she is under five, or the team that assessed her if she has been assessed. If she is hurting herself, or tells you she doesn’t want to be alive, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, stay calm, thank her for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using those routes; if the person lives in your home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. If you are worried she might seriously hurt herself or someone else, use those routes straight away.

The other five steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

It goes with

• Neurodiversity, and the Conversation with the School. For parents whose child has been working harder and longer than other children to do things that come more easily to them.
• When Reassurance Stops Working. For parents whose child is anxious and can’t be talked out of it, however often the adults around her try.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Autism. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Neurodiversity. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.