A film, and the conversation you do not force

The activity

Choose a film with some care, watch it side by side, and do not ask questions afterwards. If she wants to talk, she will.

What it is for. Someone else’s friendship can be easier to think about than her own. Watching a film side by side gives you a story in common, and she does not have to explain herself.

• The first step. Choose the film carefully. Read what the film is about, and check its age rating and the content advice that comes with it: a film about a death, a suicide or a child being bullied may help one child and be too near for another.

Safety. If it is streamed, watch in a shared room with autoplay off, so that nothing follows it.

When to get help. If the film opens something serious, and she tells you that someone is hurting her, that she is hurting herself, or that she does not want to be alive, stay with her, thank her for telling you, do not promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If she is still very sad about a friendship after several weeks, or it is affecting her sleep, eating or school, talk to her school and your GP.

The other four steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

It goes with

• When the Best Friend Moves On. For parents whose child’s best friend has drifted away, with no falling-out to explain it.
• What Screen Time Actually Is. For parents who feel they have lost the argument about screens.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Friendships. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Screen time. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.