When She Wants to See the GP Without You

Seeing a doctor on her own is part of growing up; know what stays private, what doesn’t, and how you can still help.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 13 to 18.

Where to start

Offer to help her write down what she wants to say and ask.
What she tells the doctor is confidential, as it would be for an adult.
The doctor won’t share it without her agreement unless they think she or someone else is at risk of serious harm, or the law requires it.
If she has hurt herself, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: help her ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.
If she is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if she seems well. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour. She can also talk to someone herself, without you in the room. Childline, 0800 1111. For anyone under 19 in the UK. There is a one-to-one chat online at https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/1-2-1-counsellor-chat/. Help is free and available at any hour.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

General mental health. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.