When a perfectionist child tears up their maths, they’re upset about what getting it wrong says about them.
A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 5 to 11.
Where to start
Praise the work your child has done, not the kind of child they are.
Talk about your own mistakes out loud, often.
At supper, ask what was interesting, not what was good.
The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.
Underlying framework
Carol Dweck, Mindset; the growth-mindset frame on praise of process rather than person; Sisk and colleagues, two meta-analyses of growth mind-sets and achievement (Psychological Science, 2018)
It goes with
Perfectionism.For parents whose child can’t bear to get anything wrong.
The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.
Free on this subject
Perfectionism.What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Self-esteem.What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.