The Meltdown in Public

In the middle of it your child can’t listen, so the next ten minutes are for getting them safe and calm, and the talking comes later.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for children under 7.

Where to start

Get your child somewhere safe with fewer people, stay close, and say very little.
Offer water or a snack, and leave the talking until you’re both calm.
Later, say what happened, say the limit, and put things right between you.
If they’re getting more frequent or worse, or your child hurts themselves or someone else, talk to your health visitor or GP, and take the notes with you.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

Place2Be, My child has meltdowns (Parenting Smart); Action for Children, Meltdowns and tantrums in toddlers and young children; NCT, Toddler tantrums: the facts and how to cope

It goes with

Big Feelings and Co-Regulation. For parents whose child has just had a meltdown, on how to help them through it.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Behaviour. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Emotional regulation. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.