The Grandparent Who Was a Third Parent

Where to start

• Name exactly what has been lost: the Tuesday pickup, the strawberry yoghurt.
• Rebuild the schedule deliberately; don’t expect it to sort itself out.
• Talk about what she actually did; a general “She loved you very much” does less.
• Two organisations cover this, and the first has particularly strong material on the death of older family members. Cruse Bereavement Support, 0808 808 1677. Mon, Wed, Thu, Fri 9.30am-5pm; Tue 1pm-8pm. Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free.
• The second is the UK’s children’s bereavement charity. Child Bereavement UK (incorporating Winston’s Wish), 0800 02 888 40. Mon-Fri 8am-8pm, except bank holidays. Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

Cruse Bereavement Support, resources on grandparent loss; Child Bereavement UK (incorporating Winston’s Wish), children’s grief support

It goes with

• When a Child Is Grieving. For parents whose child has lost someone, or something, that was there last week.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Bereavement. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Attachment. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.