Say What You Have Noticed

When you ring the school, describe what you’ve seen, with dates, so staff know what to look for.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 9 to 16.

Where to start

Before you ring, write down what you’ve noticed, with dates.
Start with the form tutor, and go to the head of year if it’s wider or isn’t improving.
For most things, start with her form tutor, who sees her every day. If it’s about more than one lesson, or isn’t getting better, go to the head of year. If she has, or may have, a special educational need, go to whoever leads learning support. If it is about her safety, or about how a member of staff has treated her, do not start with the form tutor: ask for the designated safeguarding lead that day. And tell the school, briefly, about anything that’s changing at home, because a school can only allow for what it knows.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

The Move to Secondary School. For parents whose child is about to go from being one of the oldest in her school to one of the youngest.
What to Do When School Is the Problem. For parents whose child has started dreading school.

Free on this subject

School stress. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.