Getting it wrong

The sheet

Four cards for the child who finds getting things wrong unbearable: a mistake each at a weekly meal, learning something new badly, losing at games, and the thing they can teach you.

Cards to cut out · A4, four cards to cut · One page · PDF, 60 KB

How it helps

A child who is frightened of getting things wrong often stops trying new things. Watching the adults make mistakes calmly, lose at games and learn something badly, in front of the child, shows them that getting it wrong is part of learning, and doesn’t change how you see them.

How to use it

Cut out the four cards, and start with one. A mistake each at a weekly meal is a good first one.
Go first each time, and let your child see you get things wrong without laughing it off or drawing a lesson from it.
Say what you see, and leave out verdicts. Nobody comments on anyone else’s mistake.
If fear of getting things wrong is stopping your child starting work, sleeping or going to school, or their mood has been low for more than two weeks, talk to their school and your GP.

How to get this sheet

This sheet comes with a subscription. It is also yours with its chapter, if that is the chapter you read free, or if a teacher or therapist sends it to you. School staff and therapists signed in to their shelf can print it too.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full, with its sheets. This one goes with Perfectionism and The 11+ Year.

Free to print

These are free to anyone, with nothing to sign up for.

Every sheet, marked free or with a subscription, is at theparentbook.com/printables.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

Subscribe to the library

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The Direct Debit is set up now and the first payment is taken on the next collection date. It renews each year on the anniversary of that payment. Change your mind in the first fourteen days and we refund you in full; after that, you can cancel at any time from your account page and read to the end of the year you have paid for.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.