Your body belongs to you

The activity

Teach her the NSPCC’s Underwear Rule a few minutes at a time, at bath time or getting dressed: her body belongs to her, and she can tell you any secret that worries her.

What it is for. The NSPCC’s Underwear Rule teaches children that their body belongs to them, that some parts are private, and that they can tell an adult they trust if anything worries them. Taught in everyday moments, a little at a time, it is a conversation about her body, and it never needs to mention sex.

• The first step. If you are comfortable doing so, use the correct names for her body, including her genitals, alongside any family words, as you would for her elbow or her knee. Statutory guidance for schools in England, in force since September 2026, lists the correct names for pupils to learn at primary school, so she is likely to hear the same words there.

Safety. Don’t ask her to show you where she was touched, or to repeat what happened to other members of the family. Write down what she said, in her words, and leave the questions to the professionals.

When to get help. If she tells you that someone has touched her, hurt her or asked her to keep a secret about her body, stay calm, thank her for telling you, tell her she has done the right thing and that it is not her fault, and don’t promise to keep it secret: tell her you will need to tell someone whose job is to keep children safe. Don’t confront the person. Act that day: contact children’s social care or the police, or get advice from the NSPCC, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If the person lives in your home, go straight to children’s social care or the police, and if she is in immediate danger, use those routes at once.

The other four steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

It goes with

• The Conversations Parents Avoid. For parents who need to tell their child something hard and don’t know how to start.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Safeguarding. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Sexuality. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.