Their first appointment on their own

The activity

Help your teenager get ready for a GP appointment and book it, then step back in stages until they can manage it alone.

What it is for. From sixteen your teenager is presumed able to make their own decisions about treatment, and younger if their doctor judges that they understand what is involved. What they tell a doctor is already confidential, as it would be for an adult, with the limits set out below. Seeing a doctor or nurse alone is easier to learn with you nearby than all at once when they leave home. Doctors are asked to make it clear that they will see young people on their own if that is what they want, so your teenager can start well before eighteen.

• The first step. Choose an appointment that isn’t urgent, such as a check-up, a vaccination, a prescription review or something minor your teenager wants to ask about, and ask them whether they would like to handle more of it themselves.
• Let your teenager book it if they can, by phone, online or at the desk, with you nearby. The surgery may ask what it is about; if your teenager would rather not say in front of you, they can book online or by phone on their own. They may be offered a nurse or another member of the team rather than a GP.

When to get help. If you’re worried about your teenager’s health and they don’t want to go, you can still ring the surgery and say what you’ve seen. If your teenager has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank them if they have told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: help them ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If your child tells you that someone is hurting them, stay calm, thank them for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using those routes; if the person hurting your child lives in your home or your child’s other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. If your child is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if they seem well.

The other three steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: Before my appointment.

It goes with

• When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• General mental health. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.