The people in our corner

The activity

On one sheet of paper, map the people and places your family can turn to, then choose one person to ask for help this month.

What it is for. When things are hard, it is easy to forget who is on your side, or to find you have lost touch with people. Seeing it on paper makes it easier to ask a particular person for a particular thing, and shows you where to look for more help.

• The first step. Put your family in the middle of the page. Around it, write the people and places you can turn to: family, friends, neighbours, other parents, the school, your GP, groups, a faith community, work.
• If the map looks thin, add one place to find more support: a local family hub or children’s centre, a parenting helpline, a group for parents in your situation, or your GP.

Safety. If there is someone you need to keep your family safe from, keep the map private and leave their name off it.

When to get help. If you are struggling to cope, or your mood has been low for several weeks, talk to your GP; in England you can also refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies. If a child’s map shows no adult she feels safe with, or names someone who frightens her, stay calm, listen to what she says in her own words, and don’t press her with questions. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, thank her for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page; if that person lives in your home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. Act that day too if you are worried for any other reason that someone is harming her. If you are not safe, or not sure you can keep yourself or someone else safe, use those routes straight away.

The other three steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

It goes with

• When You Are Not All Right. For parents whose own mental health is part of what’s going on at home.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Community support. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Parent wellbeing. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.