Marking the ending

The activity

In the last weeks at a school, offer her a few pages for what she will miss, and perhaps a card for a teacher. It is up to her, and she keeps what she makes.

What it is for. Children grieve endings even when they are glad of what comes next. Marking the last weeks gives her a chance to say what she will miss before everyone’s attention turns to the new place.

• The first step. A few weeks before the end, offer it casually: “Would you like to make something about this school before you leave?” If she says no, leave it.

Safety. Keep photographs of other children, and the school’s name or badge, off public posts.

When to get help. If what she writes or says suggests that someone has been hurting her, stay calm, thank her for telling you, do not promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. After the move, if she does not want to go most mornings, has stomach aches on school mornings, has stopped mentioning anyone by name, or her sleep or appetite has changed and not changed back, talk to the new school and your GP.

The other four steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: What I will miss.

It goes with

• The Move to Secondary School. For parents whose child is about to go from being one of the oldest in her school to one of the youngest.
• When a Child Is Grieving. For parents whose child has lost someone, or something, that was there last week.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Bereavement. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.