Her first appointment on her own

The activity

Help her get ready for a GP appointment and book it, then step back in stages until she can manage it alone.

What it is for. From sixteen she is presumed able to make her own decisions about treatment, and younger if her doctor judges that she understands what is involved. What she tells a doctor is already confidential, as it would be for an adult, with the limits set out below. Seeing a doctor or nurse on her own is easier to learn with you nearby than all at once when she leaves home. Doctors are asked to make it clear that they will see young people on their own if that is what they want, so she can start well before eighteen.

• The first step. Choose an appointment that isn’t urgent, such as a check-up, a vaccination, a prescription review or something minor she wants to ask about, and ask her whether she would like to handle more of it herself.
• Let her book it if she can, by phone, online or at the desk, with you nearby. The surgery may ask what it is about; if she would rather not say in front of you, she can book online or by phone on her own. She may be offered a nurse or another member of the team rather than a GP.

When to get help. If you’re worried about her health and she doesn’t want to go, you can still ring the surgery and tell them what you’ve seen. If she has hurt herself, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: help her ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the routes under “If you need help right now”, at the foot of every page. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, stay calm, thank her for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day, using those routes; if the person hurting her lives in your home or her other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. If she is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if she seems well.

The other three steps, and your part in it, are in the library.

The sheet that goes with it comes with a subscription: Before my appointment.

It goes with

• When They Stop Talking to You. For parents whose teenager hardly talks to them any more.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Transitions. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• General mental health. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.