When Your Teenager Will Not Accept Your Sorry

Your teenager doesn’t have to accept your apology tonight for it to count; say it once, and leave them free to come round.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 11 to 18.

Where to start

Say sorry once, naming what happened, with no “but” and no request to be forgiven.
Give your teenager room tonight, and come back to it later in a sentence or two.
Choose one thing you can change before the next hard evening, and change it.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

Robichaud, J.-M., Schumann, K., Kil, H., Koestner, R. and Mageau, G. A., Should parents apologize to their adolescents to mend their parent-adolescent relationship? A multi-method, multi-phase investigation (Journal of Research on Adolescence, 2025); NPR, Becky Kennedy aka Dr. Becky: No parent is perfect! So try to get good at repair (TED Radio Hour, 6 October 2023).

It goes with

After You Have Lost Your Temper. A chapter for parents who have shouted, and are lying awake about it.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Losing your temper. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
Difficult conversations. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.