When the School Says Your Child Is No Trouble at All

You and your child’s teacher are both seeing the real child, so the meeting goes best when you compare notes.

A two-minute read, three things to try, for ages 5 to 16.

Where to start

Before the meeting, keep a fortnight of short notes on each explosion: the day, the time, what came before.
Ask how your child is at lunch and break, whether they say very little or are very compliant, and what the teacher has noticed.
If the pattern points to learning or attention, ask to meet the SENCo, and agree a date to talk again.
If the explosions are growing bigger or more frequent, or an assessment seems worth exploring, see the GP too.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

National Autistic Society, Masking; National Autistic Society, Different behaviour between school and home (2017); NHS, Signs of autism in children (2026); YoungMinds, School anxiety and refusal: a guide for parents (2025); YoungMinds, Anger: a guide for parents (2024); GOV.UK, Special educational needs support; Welsh Government, Education is changing: additional learning needs; NHS, Autism assessments (2026); NHS, ADHD in children and teenagers (2025)

It goes with

The Child Who Saves It All for Home. A chapter for parents whose child is fine at school and furious at home.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

Behaviour. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
School stress. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.

The rest of the library

The Parent Book is a library written by therapists: chapters on the situations parents bring to our therapy rooms most often, quick tips for tonight, things to do together, and every sheet to print. One subscription opens all of it, from the day you join.

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If you need help right now

If you or your child is in immediate danger: 999 · Go to your nearest A&E · 24/7.
If either you or your child is in a mental health crisis: NHS 111 · England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 · 24/7.
If your child is under 19 and needs to talk to someone themselves: Childline · 0800 1111 · 24/7 · www.childline.org.uk.
If you are worried that a child is being harmed or is at risk: NSPCC Helpline · 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · email help@nspcc.org.uk · www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/our-services/nspcc-helpline · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999.
If you would prefer to text rather than speak: Shout · Text SHOUT to 85258 · 24/7 · giveusashout.org.
If you or someone you are worried about needs someone to talk to: Samaritans · 116 123 · 24/7 · www.samaritans.org.

If you need help right now

Published by Kensington Square Therapy. Company No. 16707111. Written by therapists registered with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS). This page is not therapy, and not a substitute for professional support. The full library is at theparentbook.com.