When She Hits You

Where to start

• If she turns violent, leave the room with the other children, and call the police if anyone is in danger. Call 999. Help is free and available at any hour.
• This week, tell your GP or her school’s safeguarding lead what has been happening.
• In the moment, get yourself and the other children out of the room, or the house. Don’t hit back, and don’t try to restrain an older or stronger child: you could both be hurt. If violence is being used or threatened, call the police. Call 999. Help is free and available at any hour. If anyone is hurt, get medical help. If she hurts a brother or sister badly or often, or in a way you cannot stop, in either home, ask children’s social care for help that day: both children need it.
• In England and Wales, parents can call a free helpline. Coram Family Lives, 0808 800 2222. Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays. Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free. Scotland has its own. Children First, 08000 28 22 33. Email supportline@childrenfirst.org.uk. Mon-Fri 9am-9pm, Sat-Sun 9am-noon. Outside those hours the line is closed. If a child is in immediate danger, Children First says to call the police. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free. So does Northern Ireland. Parentline NI, 0808 8020 400. Email parentline@ci-ni.org.uk. Mon-Thu 9am-9pm, Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 9am-1pm. Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. Help is free.
• Your GP can start an assessment.
• If you think someone may be hurting her, or she tells you so, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day. If the person hurting her lives in your home or her other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. A national child protection helpline will talk it through with you. NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. Email help@nspcc.org.uk. Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. Help is free. She can also talk to someone herself, without you in the room. Childline, 0800 1111. For anyone under 19 in the UK. There is a one-to-one chat online at https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/1-2-1-counsellor-chat/. Help is free and available at any hour.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

• The Child Who Saves It All for Home. A chapter for parents whose child is fine at school and furious at home.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• Behaviour. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Safeguarding. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.