The Medication on Your Bedside Table

The tip

The father whose blood pressure tablets sit by the bed each morning, the parent whose mental health medication is part of the day. None of it is hidden from the children. None of it is talked about with them either. The medication has become invisible by being daily.

A nine-year-old curious about the pills, told “they are mummy’s, leave them alone” a little too sharply, may learn that medication is shameful. A thirteen-year-old who finds out late, from someone else, that her father has been on antidepressants may learn that the family keeps secrets the size of a routine.

Make it ordinary, in plain language. “This is my heart tablet. I take it every morning so my heart works properly.” No drama, no apology, said while making toast. Talking about it openly does not mean leaving it out. Medicines belong where a child cannot reach or open them, which in most houses means locked rather than simply high. Ask your pharmacist or GP what is kept at home and whether it can be dispensed in smaller quantities. That is ordinary practice in a house with children, not a verdict on anyone.

If you are worried she may be thinking of hurting herself, ask first whether she has taken anything. If she may have, stop here. Getting help comes before the conversation, and the emergency instruction is at the top of this page. If she has not, out of sight is not enough on its own: secure the medicines first, then talk to someone tonight rather than waiting for the surgery. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe. She can talk to someone herself, without you in the room. Childline, 0800 1111. For anyone under 19 in the UK. There is a one-to-one chat online at https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/1-2-1-counsellor-chat/. Help is free and available at any hour.

If there is any possibility that medicine has already been taken, that is not a conversation. Get medical help straight away, even if she seems well, because the effects can take hours or days to appear. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour. Do not make her sick. Nothing to eat or drink. Take the packet or bottle with you, and if she is sick, keep some of it.

If she has collapsed, cannot be roused or is struggling to breathe, make the call before you do anything else, and do not drive her yourself. Call 999. Help is free and available at any hour. Say what she has taken the moment you are through, put the phone on speaker, and do exactly what the handler tells you. Stay with her.

Almost no parent reading this will need to make that call. Locking the cupboard is the part that changes the house.

• Name the medication once, briefly, while making toast, and answer questions as they come.
• Keep medicines locked, and ask your pharmacist or GP what can safely be reduced.
• If anything may have been taken, get help now even if she seems well. Do not make her sick.

It goes with

• The Conversations Parents Avoid. For parents who need to tell their child something hard and don’t know how to start.
• Trauma in Childhood. For parents whose child has been through something hard, or whose family has.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.