The things we do for the worry

The sheet

A week of noticing what you do to spare your child the worry, and on the back, the one thing you’ll change, the sentence you’ll use, and how it is going.

For the grown-ups · A4, two sides · Two pages · PDF, 63 KB

How it helps

When a child is anxious, the adults around them step in, and over time that can keep the worry going, because the child doesn’t get the chance to find out that they can cope. A week of noticing shows you what you do; one planned change, made kindly and with the same sentence every time, gives the child that chance.

How to use it

1. For one week, write down each time you do something to spare your child the worry: what you did, not what they did.
2. Choose one thing that happens often and that you can keep to every time, and plan to cut it back one step at a time. Never choose anything in the box on the front.
3. Write your sentence, and tell your child about the change in advance, at a settled moment.
4. Keep to it every time, kindly. If your child hurts themselves, talks about hurting themselves or not wanting to be alive, or tells you someone is hurting them, stop the plan and act that day, as the back says.

How to get this sheet

This sheet comes with a subscription. It is also yours with its chapter, if that is the chapter you read free, or if a teacher or therapist sends it to you. School staff and therapists signed in to their shelf can print it too.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full, with its sheets. This one goes with When Reassurance Stops Working.

Free to print

These are free to anyone, with nothing to sign up for.

• A plan for a bad dayTo fill in together · A4
• Before you ring the schoolFor a call or a meeting · A4
• What to say: school and friendsCards to cut out · A4, eight cards to cut
• Before the SENCo meetingFor a meeting · A4
• Three reports, side by sideFor a meeting · A4 landscape
• The return-to-school meetingFor a meeting · A4
• The move to secondary school, for a parents’ eveningFor a parents’ evening · A4, five pages
• The last half-hour before bedFor the fridge · A4
• The worry ladderTo fill in together · A4
• Before you see the GP about your childFor an appointment · A4, two sides
• A record of what happenedFor a call or a meeting · A4, two pages
• The people I can tellTo make together · A4, two pages

Every sheet, marked free or with a subscription, is at theparentbook.com/printables.