The Parent Book.
Therapist-written support for parents
Takeaway
One-page summary
One-page summary
Eating and Control
A chapter for parents whose mealtimes have become the place where everything else is happening.
From the full chapter at theparentbook.com/reader/eating-and-control
What helps at the table
Whichever conversation you are in, the long game is a table where food is food and nobody has to perform eating to be loved.
- Keep the table unmoral. No good foods and bad foods, no comment on her plate or anyone’s body. A child whose parents do not talk about food morally finds it easier to have an unmoral relationship with what she eats.
- Let her spend her say elsewhere. The child who chooses her own clothes, her weekend activity, the music in the car arrives at the table with less to fight about.
- Hold the rhythm, not the negotiation. The family meal happens for forty-five minutes regardless of who eats what. Regular snacks, no bribes, no three separate dinners cooked to order.
- Act early if the picture tips. If eating has become secrecy, rules, and fear, ask your GP for a face-to-face appointment and name the pattern plainly. Early intervention changes the trajectory.
Urgent help
If you or your child is in immediate danger, call 999. If you, or your child, is in mental health crisis, call NHS 111 and choose the mental-health option in England, Scotland and Wales, or Lifeline, free and confidential on 0808 808 8000, in Northern Ireland. Every other helpline, including Childline, Papyrus, NSPCC, Shout and Samaritans, is at theparentbook.com/urgent-help.