The Thought Your Child Is Frightened to Tell You

Where to start

• If your child tells you, keep your face calm and thank them for telling you.
• Tell them thoughts like this are a known part of OCD, and that the thoughts say nothing about who they are.
• Book a GP appointment, ask for an assessment for OCD, and let them speak to the doctor alone if they want.
• If what your child describes sounds like something that has happened to them, or is happening, or something someone has shown them or asked them to do, treat it as someone hurting them: listen, and don’t question them. If your child tells you that someone is hurting them, stay calm, thank them for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day. If the person hurting your child lives in your home or your child’s other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. A national child protection helpline will talk it through with you. NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. Email help@nspcc.org.uk. Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. Help is free.
• A frightening thought is different from talk of not wanting to be alive, but if you can’t tell which you are hearing, treat it as the second. If your child has hurt themselves, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank them if they have told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.
• If your child is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if they seem well. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour.

The rest of the tip, and why it works, is in the library.

Sources

NICE, Obsessive-compulsive disorder and body dysmorphic disorder: treatment (CG31, 2005), recommendations 1.1.1.1, 1.1.1.2, 1.4.1.2 and 1.4.1.3; Krebs and Heyman, Obsessive-compulsive disorder in children and adolescents (Archives of Disease in Childhood, 2015); OCD Action, Intrusive thoughts (updated 2025); OCD-UK, What are obsessions?; OCD-UK, A guide for parents and caregivers of children and young people suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder: your questions answered (2023); YoungMinds, Parents’ guide to OCD (reviewed May 2026); NHS, Symptoms: obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) (2023)

It goes with

• When the Worry Makes the Rules. A chapter for parents whose child’s worry has started to come with rituals, and whose family has started keeping them.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• OCD. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Anxiety. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.