The Thought She Is Frightened to Tell You

Where to start

• If she tells you, keep your face calm and thank her for telling you.
• Book a GP appointment, ask for an assessment for OCD, and let her speak to the doctor alone if she wants.
• If what she describes sounds like something that has happened to her, or is happening, or something someone has shown her or asked her to do, treat it as someone hurting her: listen, and don’t question her. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, stay calm, thank her for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day. If the person hurting her lives in your home or her other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. A national child protection helpline will talk it through with you. NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. Email help@nspcc.org.uk. Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. Help is free.
• A frightening thought is different from talk of not wanting to be alive, but if you can’t tell which you are hearing, treat it as the second. If she has hurt herself, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.
• If she is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if she seems well. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour.

The rest of the tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

It goes with

• When the Worry Makes the Rules. A chapter for parents whose child’s worry has started to come with rituals, and whose family has started keeping them.

The first chapter you open here is free to read in full.

Free on this subject

• OCD. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.
• Anxiety. What to do first, what helps, and who else can help. Free to read and to print.