Puberty

Where to start

Most of puberty needs no professional at all. The GP is for signs that come very early or very late, and for periods heavy or painful enough to stop ordinary life; the school is the first stop for periods during the school day.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.

For puberty

• NHS (early or delayed puberty, and starting your periods). The NHS pages on puberty that starts early or late, and on starting periods: what is usual, and when to see a GP. When you want to check whether what you are seeing is within the usual range, before or after you speak to the GP. www.nhs.uk/conditions/early-or-delayed-puberty
• Brook. The young people’s sexual health charity. Calm pages for parents on puberty, periods and talking about sex and relationships at home. When the question has arrived in the back of the car. Reading; the clinics are for young people themselves. www.brook.org.uk/parents-and-carers

If period pain is stopping ordinary life

• Endometriosis UK. A UK charity with a free helpline, nurse support and a guide for parents of a child with difficult periods. When your child’s periods are painful or heavy enough to stop school or ordinary life, and you want to understand what might be happening and how to raise it with the GP and the school. Endometriosis UK Helpline 0808 808 2227 · Varies weekly; times on the Endometriosis UK site · Webchat: Set times that change weekly, on the Talk to someone page · Outside its set times the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.endometriosis-uk.org/resources/parents-and-carers-guide-supporting-your-child-difficult-periods

If puberty brings dieting, skipped meals or disgust at her body

• Beat (the UK’s eating disorder charity). The UK’s eating disorder charity. A free helpline, webchat and email, and, for parents specifically, a free twelve-week one-to-one support programme and an online learning hub for families. As soon as eating has become a worry, and alongside the GP, not instead. You do not need a diagnosis to call. BEAT Helplines England 0808 801 0677, Scotland 0808 801 0432, Wales 0808 801 0433, Northern Ireland 0808 801 0434 · Mon-Fri 3pm-8pm · One-to-one webchat and email (help@, Scotlandhelp@, Waleshelp@ or NIhelp@beateatingdisorders.org.uk) at the same hours · Outside those hours the line is closed. If your child is physically unwell, use the urgent routes on this page, which are open when this line is not. www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/support-someone-else

If sexual knowledge or behaviour in a young child worries you

• NSPCC. The NSPCC helpline is for adults worried about a child. You do not have to be sure, you can call anonymously, and they will tell you whether it needs to go further and help you take that step. When something has been said or seen and you do not know what to do with it. Childline, 0800 1111, is the line for a child to call themselves. NSPCC Helpline (for adults) 0808 800 5000 · Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. · If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/nspcc-helpline

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.