Parent wellbeing

Where to start

You can refer yourself. You do not need anyone’s permission, and you do not need to be in crisis to qualify.

• NHS Talking Therapies. Free NHS therapy for adults in England, for anxiety and low mood. You can refer yourself; you do not need to go through your GP first. For the parent. A great many of the parents we sit with are carrying something of their own, and waiting for someone to ask. www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service
• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Private therapy, if you can meet the cost. A registered counsellor or psychotherapist, found through the BACP or NCPS directories. Waiting lists are shorter than the NHS and you choose who your child sits with. When waiting is the problem, or when you want a particular kind of help. What to look for, and what to expect, is set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

For parent wellbeing

• Mind. The UK’s largest mental health charity. The right line for the parent who has begun to notice her own depletion and wants to talk it through with someone who is not the GP, the partner, or the friend. Any chapter or quick tip where the parent’s own mental health is in the room. The Infoline staff are trained to signpost rather than counsel, which is the right register for the parent who needs the next step rather than the therapy session. Their parent-facing pages on stress, sleep, and parental burnout are the cleanest UK source we know. Not a crisis line. If tonight is urgent, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Mind Infoline 0300 123 3393 · Mon-Fri 9am-6pm (except bank holidays) www.mind.org.uk
• Family Lives. A free confidential helpline for any parenting concern. I send parents here when the question is about them, not about the child. When the chapter is about the experience of parenting itself, the family system, or a parent who needs to be listened to. Particularly strong for bullying and for the parent who is holding things together at the edge of their capacity. Family Lives confidential helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm · Live chat Mon-Fri 10.30am-9pm; WhatsApp 07441 444125; email askus@familylives.org.uk www.familylives.org.uk
• Mental Health Foundation. A research and policy charity with strong family-focused resources. The right signpost when the angle is parental wellbeing or the family as a whole. Chapters about parental burnout, isolation, parental mental health affecting the child, or the family as a system. Less useful for child-specific clinical concerns; that is YoungMinds territory. www.mentalhealth.org.uk
• Home-Start UK. The UK’s family-support network of trained volunteers visiting families at home. The right pointer for the parent who needs the kind of help no friend can fully give, particularly in the early years. Quick tips or chapters touching parental isolation, single-parent burnout, illness in the family, or the parent simply finding the early years harder than expected. Local Home-Start charities operate across the UK and recruit volunteers from their communities. No central helpline; the right move is to find the local branch via the postcode lookup on home-start.org.uk. What is offered, and how long the wait is, vary by area. The local branch is the right first call. www.home-start.org.uk
• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably). The UK suicide-prevention charity that began as a male-focused helpline and has, over twenty years, broadened. The evening line for the parent whose hardest hour is between the bedtime story and the morning. Quick tips or chapters touching parental isolation, the heavier end of parental burnout, or any moment a parent has hinted at suicidal thoughts. The 5pm-to-midnight window matches the parental dread-hours better than Mind’s Infoline does. Not a 24-hour line. Overnight, use the numbers at the top of this sheet. CALM Helpline and Webchat 0800 58 58 58 · Daily 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year · Webchat via thecalmzone.net at the same hours www.thecalmzone.net

If drinking, your own or someone else’s, is part of it

• Adfam. The leading UK families-and-addiction charity in England. The right pointer for families affected by someone else’s drinking, drug use or gambling, including parents in recovery thinking about how to talk to their children. Quick tips and chapters on substance use in the family system, including the parent in recovery and the family living alongside active addiction. Adfam runs one-to-one support sessions and signposts to local services across England; their resources on conversations between recovering parents and their children are the cleanest UK source we know. Mainly England. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland the national equivalents may be the better route. adfam.org.uk
• Nacoa (National Association for Children of Alcoholics). The UK charity providing information, advice and support for anyone affected by a parent’s drinking. Helpline open to children, adults, and concerned others alike, six days a week. Quick tips and chapters where the child is, in the household, living alongside a parent’s problem drinking. Nacoa’s helpline is one of the few UK lines a child can use directly to talk about a parent’s substance use; the same line supports adult children of alcoholics, who may be the parent reading the tip. Nacoa Helpline 0800 358 3456 · Mon-Sat 10am-7pm nacoa.org.uk

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in the room at 23 Kensington Square, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.