OCD

Some tips to try

Short pieces from the library, and a first thing to try from each.

• Telling the School About Her OCD. Children often hide OCD at school, and a short conversation can help stop staff feeding it without meaning to.
  • First agree with her what is shared, then ask the pastoral lead or SENCo for a short meeting.
  • For GCSEs and A levels, arrangements such as rest breaks or extra time have to be her normal way of working in school first, and extra time also needs evidence from a specialist such as CAMHS, so raise them early.
  • There is a helpline for people affected by OCD, including parents. OCD Action, 0300 636 5478. Email support@ocdaction.org.uk. Mon-Fri 9.30am-8pm; leave a message if nobody answers and a volunteer calls back. Outside those hours the line is closed. OCD Action points anyone who needs urgent support to Samaritans, who answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258.
  • If she drinks little at school to avoid the toilets, tell the GP, and ask the school for a toilet she can use. If fears about contamination have stopped her eating or drinking enough, ask for an urgent GP appointment that day.
  theparentbook.com/quick-tips/telling-the-school-about-her-ocd
• The Thought She Is Frightened to Tell You. Intrusive thoughts are part of OCD, and even the most frightening say nothing about who a child is or what she wants.
  • If she tells you, keep your face calm and thank her for telling you.
  • Book a GP appointment, ask for an assessment for OCD, and let her speak to the doctor alone if she wants.
  • If what she describes sounds like something that has happened to her, or is happening, or something someone has shown her or asked her to do, treat it as someone hurting her: listen, and don’t question her. If she tells you that someone is hurting her, stay calm, thank her for telling you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day. If the person hurting her lives in your home or her other home, go straight to children’s social care or the police. A national child protection helpline will talk it through with you. NSPCC, 0808 800 5000. Email help@nspcc.org.uk. Mon-Fri 10am-4pm by phone; email 11am-4pm, seven days a week. An email sent when the service is closed is not received. If the NSPCC service is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101. You can also contact the child’s local out-of-hours children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. Help is free.
  • A frightening thought is different from talk of not wanting to be alive, but if you can’t tell which you are hearing, treat it as the second. If she has hurt herself, or talks about not wanting to be alive, stay calm, thank her if she has told you, don’t promise to keep it secret, and act that day: ask the surgery for an urgent appointment, and if it is closed, use the crisis line. England, Scotland and Wales: call 111 and choose the mental-health option. Northern Ireland: call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000. Help is free, confidential and available at any hour. Whoever answers may share information to arrange care or keep someone safe.
  • If she is badly hurt, or may have taken too much of a medicine, get medical help straight away, even if she seems well. Call 999. Or go to your nearest A&E. Help is free and available at any hour.
  theparentbook.com/quick-tips/the-thought-she-is-frightened-to-tell-you
• When Bedtime Has Become a Ritual. Ordinary bedtime routines comfort a child; an OCD ritual runs on fear, and it changes best one step at a time.
  • See the GP first, then write down the whole bedtime sequence before you change anything.
  • If that sounds like your evenings, see the GP first and ask for an assessment for OCD.
  • If you can’t safely manage her distress, pause and talk to the GP.
  • There are free workshops for parents of children with OCD, including parents whose child has no diagnosis yet. OCD-UK, 01332 588112. Email support@ocduk.org. Email Mon-Fri, with a reply within a working day; the phone line opens only on some days, 10am-2pm. Outside those hours the line is closed, and for now it opens only some days. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258.
  theparentbook.com/quick-tips/when-bedtime-has-become-a-ritual

The rest of each tip, with more to try and why it works, is in the library.

If you want to read further

• When the Worry Makes the Rules. A chapter for parents whose child’s worry has started to come with rituals, and whose family has started keeping them. theparentbook.com/reader/when-the-worry-makes-the-rules

Who else can help

The GP is the route to an assessment, and to CBT with exposure work, the treatment that helps most; the school can help once it knows what it is seeing.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.

• OCD-UK. A national OCD charity run by people with lived experience: free workshops and online groups for parents, and email support. When your child has OCD and you want clear information, a free day’s workshop for parents, or a group of other parents who understand. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. OCD-UK 01332 588112 · Email Mon-Fri, with a reply within a working day; the phone line opens only on some days, 10am-2pm · Outside those hours the line is closed, and for now it opens only some days. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.ocduk.org/parents
• OCD Action. The UK’s largest OCD charity: a helpline, an online group for parents, groups for teenagers, and The Bridge for young people waiting for treatment. When OCD is taking over family life and you want to talk it through with someone who understands it, meet other parents online, or find a place on The Bridge for a teenager who is waiting for treatment. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. OCD Action helpline 0300 636 5478 · Mon-Fri 9.30am-8pm; leave a message if nobody answers and a volunteer calls back · Outside those hours the line is closed. OCD Action points anyone who needs urgent support to Samaritans, who answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. ocdaction.org.uk/i-need-support/carers
• YoungMinds. The UK’s young people’s mental health charity, with a free Parents Helpline, webchat and email, and a plain A to Z of the things parents worry about. When you want to talk through a worry about your child with someone who has heard it before, or read a clear first explanation of a named concern. Not a crisis line. Parents Helpline 0808 802 5544 · Mon, Thu, Fri 9.30am-4pm; Tue, Wed 9.30am-6pm · Webchat Mon-Fri 9.30am-4pm; email parents@youngminds.org.uk · Outside those hours the parents line is closed. The urgent routes on this page are open when it is not. www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-helpline

The full list for OCD, with what each organisation does and when it is the right call, is at theparentbook.com/help/ocd/services