Money worries

Where to start

Start with free debt advice, and Citizens Advice for benefits, housing and work; then tell the school, which sees your child every day; and see the GP if you are still feeling worried, anxious or low after a few weeks, or, in England, refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies.

• MoneyHelper. The government-backed free money guidance service, including a debt advice locator. When money is part of what is happening at home. Children read household stress long before anyone explains it to them. www.moneyhelper.org.uk
• Citizens Advice. Free, independent advice on the practical layer: housing, benefits, debt, employment, and your rights when a family separates. When the worry is partly a practical problem wearing an emotional coat. Solving the practical part often lowers the temperature at home more than anything else will. www.citizensadvice.org.uk
• Your child’s school. The pastoral lead, the head of year, or the form tutor. Free, already knows your child, and often the quickest way to get something changed at school. Before or alongside anything else. A school cannot act on what it has not been told, and what you bring is often what it did not have.
• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• NHS Talking Therapies. Free NHS therapy for adults in England, for anxiety and low mood. You can refer yourself; you do not need to go through your GP first. For the parent. A great many of the parents we sit with are carrying something of their own, and waiting for someone to ask. www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service

For money worries

• StepChange Debt Charity. Free debt advice by phone or online, and a short guide to telling children what the household cannot afford. When money is part of what is happening at home. Start online if the phone queue is long. For wider money guidance, MoneyHelper is the other place to look. StepChange Helpline 0800 138 1111 · Mon-Fri 8am-8pm; Sat 9am-2pm · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.stepchange.org/contact-us.aspx
• National Debtline (run by the Money Advice Trust). You get free, confidential debt advice from a charity, by phone or webchat, or at any hour through its online tool, My Money Steps, with a library of sample letters. When bills or debts have fallen behind and you want a plan, and you live in England, Wales or Scotland. National Debtline 0808 808 4000 · Mon-Fri 9am-8pm; Sat 9.30am-1pm · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. nationaldebtline.org/get-help
• Citizens Advice. Free, confidential advice on benefits, work, debt, housing and family matters, by phone, webchat or at your local Citizens Advice, in England and Wales. When you need to know what help you are entitled to, or what to do first about rent, council tax or energy bills you cannot pay. Adviceline (England) and Advicelink (Wales) 0800 144 8848 · England Adviceline Mon-Fri 9am-5pm; Wales Advicelink Mon-Fri 8am-7pm, Sat 9am-1pm; debt helpline Mon-Fri 9am-8pm, Sat 9.30am-1pm; closed public holidays · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us
• Turn2us. A free benefits calculator and a search for charitable grants your family may be entitled to, including grants for a child with a disability. When money has tightened and you do not know what help exists. www.turn2us.org.uk
• Coram Family Lives. A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers. When you need to talk it through with someone, about your child or about how you are managing, and you do not need a specialist to do it. Coram Family Lives helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays · Live chat and WhatsApp 07441 444125 at the same hours; email askus@coramfamilylives.org.uk · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
• Action for Children Parent Talk. A free one-to-one webchat with a trained parenting coach, and a library of articles by age on behaviour, sleep, neurodiversity and family life. When you want to talk it through with someone in writing, this week, without a referral. Free one-to-one webchat with a parenting coach, Mon-Fri, with evening slots on Mon and Thu; check the site for current times · Parent Talk+ by phone or video for parents of children with additional needs, up to eight free sessions parents.actionforchildren.org.uk
• Mind. The UK’s mental health charity. Pages written for parents of a struggling young person, an Infoline that points you to the right service, and a Support Line that will simply listen. When your own reserves are running low and you want to talk to someone who is not the GP, your partner or a friend. Not for a crisis. If tonight is urgent, use the numbers under “If you need help right now”. Charged at your standard call rate, not free. Mind Infoline 0300 123 3393 · Mon-Fri 9am-6pm (except bank holidays) · Mind Support Line 0300 102 1234, Mon-Fri 9am-6pm, for emotional support rather than signposting · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.mind.org.uk/for-young-people/information-for-parents
• Relate (part of Family Action). Relationship, family and young people’s counselling, online or at a local centre, with a short first call to see whether it fits. When the trouble is between the adults and the children are catching it. Fees apply; local centres are separate charities. www.relate.org.uk
• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably). A free evening line, webchat and WhatsApp for anyone over eighteen who is struggling or having suicidal thoughts, and for anyone worried about someone who is. Between 5pm and midnight every day. CALM Helpline and Webchat 0800 58 58 58 · Daily 5pm-midnight, 365 days a year · Webchat and WhatsApp at the same hours · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.thecalmzone.net/suicide-prevention-helpline

If there is abuse between the adults at home

• National Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge). A free, confidential line open day and night for women experiencing abuse at home, and for anyone worried about someone who is, with live chat too. When the fear at home is between the adults, and the children are living inside it. National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 · 24 hours, every day; live chat Mon-Fri 10am-10pm, weekends 10am-6pm www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk
• Men’s Advice Line (run by Respect). A free, confidential advice line and webchat for men experiencing abuse at home. The same moment as the line above, for fathers. Men’s Advice Line 0808 801 0327 · Mon-Fri 10am-5pm; webchat Mon-Fri 9am-10am · Outside those hours the line is closed. If anyone is in danger now, call 999. If you can’t speak when you call 999 from a mobile, press 55 when asked. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. If someone checks your phone, call from one they can’t see. mensadviceline.org.uk
• Women’s Aid. Written guidance you can read quietly, a directory of local refuges and services, live chat, and a site for teenagers on what a healthy relationship looks like. When you are not ready to ring anyone yet. www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support
• Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline. A free line open day and night in Scotland, for anyone experiencing domestic abuse or forced marriage and for the family and friends supporting them, with email and web chat too. When the fear at home is between the adults, and you live in Scotland. Scotland’s Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline 0800 027 1234 · 24 hours, every day sdafmh.org.uk
• Live Fear Free (Wales). The Welsh Government’s free helpline, open day and night by phone, text, email and live chat, for anyone experiencing domestic abuse or sexual violence and anyone who knows someone who is. When the fear at home is between the adults, and you live in Wales. Live Fear Free helpline 0808 80 10 800 · 24 hours, every day; also by text, email and live chat www.gov.wales/live-fear-free/contact-live-fear-free
• Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline (Northern Ireland). A free line open day and night in Northern Ireland, for men and women affected by domestic or sexual abuse, answered by trained advisers. When the fear at home is between the adults, and you live in Northern Ireland. Domestic and Sexual Abuse Helpline 0808 802 1414 · 24 hours, every day www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/24-hour-domestic-and-sexual-violence-helpline

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.