Losing your temper

Where to start

The GP is the first call if anger is frequent, frightening, or tangled with low mood or drink; in England you can also refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies, and the NSPCC helpline is there for any adult worried about a child.

• Your GP. The gateway to everything the NHS offers a child: paediatric assessment, a referral to CAMHS, and support for you as the parent. Ask for a double appointment. Describe the pattern over weeks rather than the worst single day, and say plainly what you are worried about. Bring a written list; the ten minutes go quickly. www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-gp
• NHS Talking Therapies. Free NHS therapy for adults in England, for anxiety and low mood. You can refer yourself; you do not need to go through your GP first. For the parent. A great many of the parents we sit with are carrying something of their own, and waiting for someone to ask. www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-an-NHS-talking-therapies-service
• The NSPCC helpline, for adults worried about a child. A line for the adult who is not sure whether what they have noticed is serious. You do not need to be certain, and you can call anonymously. When something has been said or seen and you do not know what to do with it. They will tell you whether it needs to go further, and help you take that step. Helpline 0808 800 5000, Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm Email help@nspcc.org.uk, read 11am to 4pm, seven days a week; a message sent while the service is closed is not received. If it is closed and the concern cannot wait, call the police on 101, or contact the child’s local children’s social care, social work or social services team. If a child is in immediate danger, call 999. www.nspcc.org.uk

For losing your temper

• Action for Children Parent Talk. A free one-to-one webchat with a trained parenting coach, and a library of articles by age on behaviour, sleep, neurodiversity and family life. When you want to talk it through with someone in writing, this week, without a referral. Free one-to-one webchat with a parenting coach, Mon-Fri, with evening slots on Mon and Thu; check the site for current times · Parent Talk+ by phone or video for parents of children with additional needs, up to eight free sessions parents.actionforchildren.org.uk
• Coram Family Lives. A free, confidential helpline for any parenting or family worry, by phone, live chat, WhatsApp or email, staffed by trained family support workers. When you need to talk it through with someone, about your child or about how you are managing, and you do not need a specialist to do it. Coram Family Lives helpline 0808 800 2222 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm; weekends 10am-3pm; closed bank holidays · Live chat and WhatsApp 07441 444125 at the same hours; email askus@coramfamilylives.org.uk · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.coramfamilylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/confidential-helpline
• Children First. A free support line for parents and carers in Scotland, by phone or webchat, seven days a week. When you live in Scotland and want to talk to someone about your child, family life or money worries, by phone or webchat, any day of the week. Children First Support line 08000 28 22 33 · Mon-Fri 9am-9pm, Sat-Sun 9am-noon · Webchat: On the support line page; no separate webchat hours are given · Outside those hours the line is closed. If a child is in immediate danger, Children First says to call the police. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.childrenfirst.org.uk/get-support/support-line
• Parentline NI. A free parenting helpline for Northern Ireland, run by Children in Northern Ireland, with webchat, email and one-to-one sessions. When you live in Northern Ireland and want to talk through a worry about your child or family life, or would value a few one-to-one sessions with a parent support officer. Parentline NI 0808 8020 400 · Mon-Thu 9am-9pm, Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 9am-1pm · Webchat: During opening hours, on the Parentline NI page · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. www.ci-ni.org.uk/parentline

If the anger is towards a partner

• Respect Phoneline. A free, confidential helpline for anyone worried about their own violence or abuse towards a partner. When the temper you are worried about is aimed at your partner, and you want confidential help to stop. Respect Phoneline 0808 802 4040 · Mon-Fri 10am-5pm · Webchat: Mon-Fri 9am-10am, on the Respect Phoneline site · Outside those hours the line is closed. Samaritans answer at any hour on 116 123, and Shout answer if you text the word SHOUT to 85258. respectphoneline.org.uk/help-for-perpetrators

If you are considering private therapy

Waiting lists are long. If you can meet the cost, a registered therapist can usually be seen in weeks rather than months. Both registers below are accredited by the Professional Standards Authority, which is the thing to check before anything else.

• BACP Therapist Directory. The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy’s public register. Search by area, by what you are bringing, and by whether the therapist works with children. www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists
• NCPS Therapist Directory. The National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society’s register. Every therapist listed is qualified, supervised, insured, and accountable to a code of ethics. ncps.com/find-a-counsellor
• Kensington Square Therapy. Our own practice. We work with children, young people and parents, in person in London, online, and inside schools we partner with. www.kst.ltd

What to look for in a therapist, what a first session is like, and the questions worth asking before you commit, are set out at theparentbook.com/finding-a-therapist

Everything else

The full directory, across every subject, is at theparentbook.com/services. If a number here has changed, please tell us at hello@theparentbook.com and we will correct it.